I-Wa-Wa

Every time I put Peter to bed, we follow our little routine. We read a couple of books in the rocking chair, then I pick him up and sing to him for a minute and hold him really close. He always rests his head on my shoulder, a rare treat of snuggle time, and I cherish those last moments of holding him, the remnants of my baby clinging to this little boy. I lay him down in his crib and he grabs for all his binkies. Right before I leave, I pull out his binkie and whisper, "I love you, Peter." He looks me right in the eye and whispers back, "I-wa-wa," his way of saying, "I love you." Every time, that "I love you" shoots right to my heart, and I'm filled with love and gratitude for this little boy that I get to share my life with.

Sometimes people will ask me, "What do you do all day?" or "When do you think you'll go back to work?" I always smile to myself and give some vague answer, because people don't really want to hear my answer. They don't want to hear that my day is filled with hundreds of tiny, priceless, precious moments that I wouldn't trade for any salary. My day is full of love, disguised in so many forms you can hardly believe love is so mysterious and all encompassing. Playing games, drawing pictures, reading books, eating together, just discovering.......those are the most precious of moments to me, and that's what fills our days.

I've heard cynics wonder, "Does it really matter? Do they even know?" I know I do. I know it matters to me. I remember all the time I spent with my mom when I was a little girl. I remember her snacks of cinnamon toast and pretzels, watching her work around the house, and smiling and talking with me. Most of all I remember the constant blanket of love and security wrapped around me because my mom and dad were always there, with a smile, no questions asked. That's what I hope for my children, and that's why I'll always be there for them.